The past few days

The past few days have been up and down for me.

I've been trying very hard to get my life in order. The brain mimics what is surrounding it and I'm surrounded by what I feel is chaos. If someone came into my home they would feel it is a fairly clean place with only one room slightly messy (excluding the basement). And for the most part, I do feel this is accurate. I try to keep my home very clean (to the dismay of my mr. gnome) and pick up after myself as best as I can. However, I do have my little hot-mess-piles which drive me insane. I know lurking behind door number three, there is a room full of disarray and ill-organized belongings. Problem is, I just don't have the funds for proper organization and I have a tendency to get overwhelmed and just stop doing a project. Like the computer room... I attempted to organize all of my papers yesterday but stopped halfway through. There is now a pile of papers sitting at my feet at the computer... why? Because I'm too overwhelmed with the thought of organizing them that they will sit there and continue to make my mind swirl just looking at them.

Someone... anyone... help?

Otherwise, things keep on keepin on. Mr. Gnome is at work, currently, trying to buffer our bank accounts by doing a few hours of overtime at his job. I would, too, except for the fact that my job doesn't offer overtime. I have been seriously considering getting a second job but then I wonder... who will keep my house clean? who will cook for Mr. Gnome?

I am proud of myself for doing something over the past weekend. Our neighbors two doors down can be quite short tempered. They have about 5 cars to one home and we have street parking. We Gnomes try to be considerate of where people park but Mr. Gnome particularly has been frustrated by these neighbors. On friday evening, one of them came to my door screaming about where Mr. Gnome has parked his car (not even in front of their house). Incredibly long story short, I kept my cool and did not yell back at this woman. I simply stated I would prefer she take a few deep breaths and calm down before she continue speaking to me... she didn't but I continued keeping my cool. Then, when she walked away, I went over to their house and asked to speak with everyone who drives in the home. I stated that we are all neighbors and can't we all just get along? Can't we just all be considerate where we park instead of being passive-aggressive and leaving just enough room so that the other can't park? I've never parked in front of their house and don't plan on it and I would appreciate some consideration from them as well. I was out there shoveling all morning, just as one of the members of their house was (... not the one that was screaming... she sat on her butt all day while someone else shoveled her spot). ANYWAY. There was a lot more said than that and I'm sure to read it, it doesn't make much sense but the reason for the story is this:
Usually, I'm non-confrontational and lose my cool quickly. My face will turn red and I will stammer and stutter or scream. This time, I stood my ground, spoke calmly and politely and ended the conversation on an upbeat, happy note. I am proud of myself for not allowing someone to push me around and at the same time, not being a total bitch.
That said, it took me about half an hour or more to calm down after I got back to my house. I was shaking and anxious and felt like I was going to have a panic attack!

Anyway. Do something for you today. Anything. Just something for you.

<3