Trials and Tribulations

Mr. Gnome and I have had our bouts with the difficulties of life over the past few weeks. Everything from work woes to getting stranded after believing we just had a wonderful evening... it has been trying.

We have been saving money so we can buy a home, rather than rent the one we are in now. We would love nothing more than a nice, victorian-esque or old stone farmhouse on a little plot of land to call our own. (My love of creating doesn't end with fabric - I love gardening and planting and all kinds of get-down-and-dirty-outside hobbies). I also have this desire for a goat. And an alpaca. And a llama. And a horse. Ok maybe that's going too far for now but you can see my point. I aspire to have more than a small home with a tiny backyard which only has room for one flat of flowers and a couple of tomato plants. I want to try my hand at corn and pumpkins. I want to have the opportunity to have a goat, even if I don't believe my life will truly ever be ready for it. I just want something to call my own. (and, universe, a fireplace would be great. kthx.)

We also have similar cars, but different years and styles. We have since found that as soon as something goes wrong with one of our cars, the other will break within 6 months. We've had flat tires, broken windshields, a broken sunroof, several windows that will not go (or stay) up (some of these are still not fixed), an ignition in need of replacement and that's not the last of it. Yes, all, this has been within the past 6 or so months. We would love to just get different cars but a car payment is one of the last things we need right now... and with our cars needing so much work, we couldn't get a different car as an even trade. And the last time one of the cars broke down, we just got done meeting our realtor for the first time and were feeling super good even though we found out our dream home has gone from "available" to "pending"... til we got out to the parking lot and my car wouldn't start. I'm not a person that is super spiritual or into all the happenings of the universe, but I know a sign when I see one. And I believe that's a sign. Of what, I'm not sure... or maybe it's a test... to see how much I can handle... to keep me grounded and my head out of the clouds (clouds? you're unclear of what I mean? please see paragraph above this one. llamas? yeah there you go.)

I have been having some medical issues as well; issues which I will not delve into for the whole world to see, but just know they have not been minor scrapes and bruises. And an internal organ which I have not-so-lovingly named "Vlad."

These issues, along with several more I am not yet ready to share with the world, have been making me feel quite overwhelmed and in need of a mental vacation. As much as I try to be a nice, easygoing person, I am at heart a wound-up worrywort of the largest proportions. I also like to make lists and have plans and these issues.... well they have thrown lots of cogs in my wheels and almost stopped them from moving altogether. It seems there have been issues for me every few days and sometimes I simply can not handle all of these things at once.